Having children is scary

18 August 2006
05:38:00 o'clock



Having children is scary. The fear that something may happen to them, when you lie in bed at night thinking how you would live if anything bad happens, there is no feeling on earth like the love you have for your kids. SInce Beverley lost Steve in the car accident, I just don't know how she manages to get through each day with a smile on her face. You dare not mention his name for fear of upsetting her, yet why should we act as though he was never here? How does she get out of bed, put on something nice, make breakfast and go shopping knowing that she will never see him again, her gorgeous, talented 19 year old son. If it happened to my kids I would surely die too, it's so difficult not to think of it when trying to sleep at night. It's a scary thing to have so much love for your kids, not being able to say anymore "it won't happen to us" it does happen to people like us, and it has happened to Bev. Letting go of them is hard, letting jack go to the beach with his friends, go swimming without an adult present, letting Martin get the train to London, all i want to do is lock the door and never let them out of my sight, but life goes on. Everyday that your family come home safe is a blessing, living with the fear that 'it' could happen is a nightmare. The love for your children is so powerful that it's frightening. When Martin was seriously bullied, I went on the rampage looking for these three boys, they were known to carry knives, I didn't care, they hurt my son and all I had was absolute rage. I found them, and they were sorry, but that's another story!

Not sure where this came from, just felt like writing about it. Maybe I'm a little crazy, maybe the love and fear I feel for my kids is unhealthy, maybe it's totally normal. If Bev had locked her kids in and never let them out, Steve would still be here, if only life were that simple!