DAY 5 - Home gym

20 August 2006
10:35:00 o'clock BST

Bought a home gym, now I'm gonna go buy a tracksuit, trainers, and gonna go jogging everyday for 20 mins or so with Martin, gonna get fit not fat. It's do or die.

I know people who are in their 60's, the difference in their lifestyles is amazing. One, being my own mother, 65, smokes 40 a day, or more, is 15 stone, no exercise, has bone problems, had breast cancer, cannot even walk 2 minutes to the local newsagents because her knees are so painful. She has never exercised because of the smoking, she has never felt like it, or had the motivation to do it, so she's ended up like this.

Then there's my mother in law, has the odd ciggie, walks everywhere, up town nearly everyday, is just on the go all the time. Goes abroad and has a totally different out look on life. I know which I would prefer to end up like.

My mum, all the time, she just says Oh I'm too old, always too old to do anything, it's like she is just waiting to die almost, given up on life. She could have another 20 years or so of happy living. It's not like she's on her own, she's got me and keith and the two boys, and good friends, she could have so much fun in front of her. I know that chainsmoking is draining the life out of her. I know what 20/30 fags a day made me feel like. Her finger nails are dark dark brown with the nicotine staining. I was having to sleep in the afternoon, and most of the day I was just laying on the couch, I just didn't have the energy to do anything. But again, she feels she's too old to quit, I can't beleive at 65 she feels her life is over. What can ya do?

Well, day five and I'm doing mighty fine, cold turkey symptoms have gawn and I'm quite excited and ready to get fit, I mean business this time. Can't carry on saying I'm gonna do this and not do any thing about it. Things are going south, they need to be pointed in the right direction.

laterz x