Before I die

19 August 2006
10:52:00 o'clock BST

There are many things I want to do before I die. Its too late for some of them. I often have regrets, already, at 35. Am I too old, is it too late, I don't want to die wishing I'd done all the things I'd wanted to do. They're not anything amazing, I'm not wishing to see the rest of the world, travelling for some reason does not interest me, prolly cos most of the world live in the UK now anyhow. Here's my list of what I would love to do before I die:

Become a massive female body builder, yep, an absolute dream.



Learn to cook like Gordon Ramsey, so when someone turns up I can grab 3 miscellaneous things out of the cupboard and throw together something amazing, voila! I can cook, but basic, basic, basic and boooooring. It's a right bore trying to think about what to cook every single day for the rest of your life. Stuck in a rut.



learn how to dressmake, my dream as a child was to be a fashion designer, I spent years designing my own clothes on paper, wish I'd kept them all now. All I can do is sew on a button, I would love to turn a peice of material in to something amazing



Learn to paint properly, if there is such a thing. My artwork is self taught, I would like to do an art course and learn the proper techniques of oil painting, with a little coaching I know my artwork would be amazing and sell for millions



Learn to dance, any dancing, ballroom, jazz, disco, breakdancing, just so I can get on the dancefloor and not feel an utter twat. I've got rythm, but I'm afraid I'm stuck on the 80's step to the left, step to the right with a front hand jiggle. I thought it was fine until Martin took the piss out of me and Peter Kay in his wedding scene danced just like me.



Yes I have a Dirty Dancing Dream, pathetic huh!

I think that's it, not too much to ask, and I guess all achievable. But time consuming and expensive. The cookery, dressmaking and dance and art courses are all well over a grand each, unless I go to the local art course full of 80 year old women who sell their masterpeices at age concern jumbles. I don't have the time, and I don't have the money.

what a dilemma