Dear Diary

I didn't alf have a day of it yesterday, you wouldn't believe. For the last few months there's been this strange, rather nasty smell spreading around my house. Looking back it started in the summer, in the conservatory, and has gradually spread to the kitchen, which was soo annoying, and recently it's been in the lounge area. It honestly has been driving me mad, I have had the whole kitchen out, cleaning behind the fridge, freezer, washing machine, all the cupboards, I've cleared and scrubbed the conservatory a number of times, I've had everything out of the lounge thinking the cat may have done something somewhere sneaky, I have been pulling my hair out coming to the conclusion that the house is possessed by a smelly ghost.

Yesterday when I woke up I'd had enough, I was going to go through the house, inch by inch until I found the source, I wish I hadn't, I found it. We have a drain in the conservatory, that I knew nothing about, it was the drainage for kitchen sink and washing machine, some clever cowboy had decided to tongue and groove wooden panelling over the bloody thing, and for the last, God knows how long, the water had been pouring away and collecting, going stagnant, under the whole of the conservatory floor. Keith had to pull up the whole of the wooden floor and I spent the whole afternoon and evening trying to clean the stinking sludge out, at one point my tears joining the stinking mess, it just got too much.

This was not how I envisaged spending the first ever paid holiday I've ever had in my life. Keith and me booked four days off to spend together, thurs, fri, sat and sunday, as we hardly get any quality time together these days, and we will now be spending it sorting this out.

We can't unblock the drain, we can't afford a plumber, so Keith is going to cement it over and fit new pipework, bypassing it all together.

If anyone asks me if I enjoyed my time off, they better run for it.

I'm trying to stay positive, and just be thankful I have found the source, and look forward to my house not smelling like a cesspit anymore, although I think it's gonna take a long time before the smell totally goes, cleaning the sludge out from every crevice is turning out to be a mighty task.