Pubic hair

Yes, it happened, a counter assistant's worse nightmare (well, one of many) I was serving this vegetarian, she wanted half ounce of Cathedral City, so I cheese sliced it off, we have the latest mod cons you know, plonked it on the scales, and there it was, on the side of the cheese facing me, a thick black wiry hair, looking unmistakeably like a pube. The major problem was to try and remove the offending item without the customer noticing that I was trying to pick at it, Cathedral City is rather sticky, a pubic hair magnet really. So I used one of my spesh tricks, what you do is kind of stretch your neck and look at something in the opposite direction of where the customer is facing (me) and it's only human nature that the customer will turn to where you are looking (women are better at this, it's cos we're nosey) So I craned my neck right up, made an exaggerated look as if something was happening, added a bit of a frown, rasied eyebrow, bemused look, anything that would grab her attention, and she fell for it. This was my one chance to grab that pube, I only had the one chance, she wouldn't fall for it again. So at the precise moment of her turning to look at the invisible event happening down the aisle, with a skillful aim and steady hand I went for the pube. It was a bit of a struggle, it didn't want to come, it clung on for dear life, but I got it, my grasp was too powerful for it to resist. So there will be no complaints from any customers about having pubes on their cheese today, no siree, no pubes on my deli counter!

Before you even think it, no it was not mine, I don't know where it came from. I do want to assure you that the standards of cleanliness on our counters is second to none, we are not allowed to come on to the counters without first washing our hands for at least a minute. It must have just blown in from somewhere, a pube in the wind.