1 WEEK

As predicted yesterday turned out to be a crap day, it was a total waste of space day. I ended up having a whopper of a headache that started around 11am, and I was still taking painkillers at 2 am this morning. I'm not one to suffer headaches, I was convinced I'd got something serious wrong with me, it was worrying cos all I wanted to do was sleep. I more or less slept all day on the couch, and after being so active the last few days it was weird. Still I just went with the flow, it could be a number of things, nicotine withdrawel, although I think physical withdrawel symptoms should have eased now? Caffeine withdrawel, I suppose switching to the decaf may have been a trigger? Stress triggered by Talk Talk, I'm suing ... Sttill, it's not there this morning, wouldn't say my head is clear but the throbbing has subsided, thank God. I have my dentist appointment today, I wouldn't have wanted to go if my head was still throbbing like that, the dentist is bad enough at the best of times. I'm really looking forward to it actually (it's only a consultation afterall), I've never like the shape of my crowns, they were fitted about 8 years ago by a dentist with a not so good reputation, when he first fitted them I felt like Esther Rantzen, I've been searching the net for my perfect pearly whites but it's not the same as choosing a haircut! Oh yeah, that's another thing I must do, have a new cut, I need something that's gonna knock years off me, I haven't a clue what, I have this mad idea about having turquoise highlights, it's in my head and won't go, a kind of mid life crisis thing.
Anyways, a week, I can't believe I've done it, Keith was arguing with me yesterday that it's only been 3 days, I had to show him when I started this journal to prove it's a week. It's had its ups and downs but overall it's nt been that bad, well not for me, others may beg to differ!
NEGATIVES: Constipation, 3 ulcers, headaches, insomnia, restless and jittery
POSITIVES: I smell nice, I can smell smokers a mile off, yek! I enjoy my food, things actually have a taste, I don't carry aorund a huge cloud of guilt and burden about death and cancer, what would my kids do etc, etc.
I don't actually want one this morning, I must have had about 3 pretty bad cravings yesterday, but I knew with such a bad headache one puff would probably make it ten times worse, not better. If I fancy one I just pick up my novel and ride with it for a few minutes, they soon pass and are soon forgotten. It really isn't as difficult as I expected it to be, so much different from the other two times, because this time I WANT to do it. There's the difference.
I gave in and nibbled on some chocolate egg yesterday, I weigh in at 10st 1lb this morning, so I guess that's how it's gonna go, up and down, as long as it don't keep rising them I'm cool. I'm being very good and just eating three times a day, and trying to keep it fairly healthy, apart from chips cos I love em, if my weight does rise then I will cut things like that out also.
Well I best get the kids up for school and I also guess it's about time I went and collected some work, they had some to collect yesterday, which I should have got on with last night, but there was no way I even wanted to go and collect it let alone sit at my comp with a thumper of a headache, so I have got 110 minutes to type up today, as well as go to the dentist and other miscellaneous tasks, I'll do it, I'm superwoman. I haven't yet done any transcribing work since quitting, I had the whole of the Easter off, should be interesting, I'm become very good at typing with ciggie in one hand, apparently it used to help me concentrate, does this mean that I will have to quit work due to lack of concentration due to lack of nicotine?? I bet you anything I get them finished in half the time, we'll see .... !
might pop back later