Induction nightmares

Thank God that's over with, my brain hasn't worked that hard in years. The following is about my induction so if you find it incredibly boring just skip, I just have to put it in writing, I feel the need.

Thursday and Friday evening, 5 til 9, we were so inundated with all the rules and regs of Sainsbury's, my brain just could not keep up, it was bewildering, moving from one module to the next to the next to the next. We were told on Friday when we left at 9.30 that we would have an exam at the end of the induction on everything we had been shown. I think I may have drained a bit white, and shook a wee bit, 'are you ok Lynn?' the trainer asked, 'who me? Yeeess, luverly jubbly' (oh please, someone hang me by the laces of my safety boots right now) ..... I didn't sign up for examinations, I'm sat there with 16 and 17 year olds who are used to all that, my brain stopped working about 20 years ago.

when I got home I had to quickly devise a way of remembering key points,i.e Sainsbury's pledges and values, so I came up with this plan:

KARTGIGS values

K - Keep it simple
R - Respect the individual
T - Treat every pound as your own
G - Getting better everyday
I - Individual responsibility - team delivery
GS - Great service drives sales

and

SMART pledges

S - Sources with integrity
M - Making positive contributions to the community
A - A great place to work (pah!)
R - Respect for the environment
T - The best for food and health

Also

TRY

T- Taste
R - recommend
Y - Your customer

And

FeckCofF

F - First impression
Service with Confidence
F - Final Impression

And so it went on, I went to the final induction on Saturday with the most bizarre words swimming around my head, it's my method for remember long lists. Then we had a full day of more modules, of which I was quickly throwing together more words for the new bizarre dictionary I had started. But it worked, I got 71 out of 75, I missed out on 2 points for 2 questions, one which I didn't read properly, and the other about their performance score card, of which I didn't have time to think of a word (have since thought up CCOPS, customer, colleague, operations, performance)

So I guess, even if it was a most bizarre way of getting through it, I got through it, in fact I came second score wise, lovely Rose, 17, got 75, Scott, 68 and lovely little Ashley only 50, bless.

How different my life is to the youngens, whilst they took their 45 minute lunchbreak in the canteen, chatting, relaxing, chillin', I jumped in the car, shot home, washed up, tidied up, got Martin up, made coffee and cheese on toast, had ciggie, fed cats, polished the lounge table, jumped back in car and went back in to training room looking like something the cat dragged in.

I am supposed to be doing my first 'training' shift on Thursday, but Martin informed me last night that I will be doing shut down on Saturday night alone, which is basically everything you have to do on the deli after full training, and the duty manager is hoping I can do double the hours on Thursday and Friday and be fully trained up for this shut down on Saturday. I looked at Martin with mouth agape, not quite finding the right words, apart from two starting with F and O, and he smiled a knowing smile. I would normally be working with Martin on a Saturday but he has booked a holiday, and I will be doing it alone. How I hate him. How can he do this to his ole mum. Oh well, I can only do my best, should be fun ... heeeeeellllllpppppppppppp!

No, seriously ... HELP MEEEE